Women can’t write sex? – I think not
When a friend of mine from my novel class told me there was an editor of Erotic fiction saying that women can’t write sex I almost choked on my hot chocolate. First I thought she was joking, but her face told me otherwise. She said the interview was on ‘The Book Show’ on ABC National Radio. Here is the link if anyone is interested in listening.
Being a writer of some very erotic sex scenes in my book, Xenos, I have to say I’m a little, just a little offended by the comments of Katie Copstick. I have been told by mentor, Christos Tsiolkas, that I write sex really well, and that’s coming from an author that writes sex brilliantly. But this blog isn’t about me validating my writing, it’s about voicing my concerns about obvious discrimination of women, by a woman I might add.
Copstick says she doesn’t want her magazine “drowned in estrogen” and that women write sex so badly that she only plans to commission male writers for her magazine. According to Copstick, women concentrate too much on feelings. I think it’s statements like these, and women like Copstick, that contribute to the problems women face in our society today. Instead of supporting each other as women, we totally bag each other to get ahead in life.
When I first listened to the interview the thought did cross my mind that this may be a publicity stunt for her magazine. I mean, her comments were so ridiculous they were bordering on farce. Should women writers actually take her seriously? Unfortunately I’m sure that some woman writers will hold onto her words and may not write the sex scene they have always wanted to write, or not write as confidently, for fear of editors like Copstick.
There are so many fantastic woman writers that write great sex scenes. Some that come to mind are Paullina Simmonds, Nikki Gemmell, Danielle Steele. There are great writers of sex from both males and females and making a generalised comment that men write sex better is like saying women cook better, and I’m a lousy cook but I can write my sex!
A sex scene should be written just as the protagonist experiences it, and this will depend on the kind of character you have. If the protagonist concentrates on feelings a lot then the sex scene should be written like that. If the protagonist is having casual sex where there are no feelings attached then the sex should be written like that. It just depends of the protagonist and the narrative of the piece of fiction.
So to all you women writers out there writing sex, I say ignore Copstick and write away!
Trish Bolton said,
August 9, 2009 at 3:35 am
Koraly, thanks for writing about women writing about sex.
When we write we put ourselves out there, and a woman can’t put herself out there more than when she’s writing about sex. It might be the 21st century and feminism might be in its third wave, but the expectation that women are more civilised when it comes to sex and don’t give in to baser instincts if indeed they have them at all, is alive and well. Women who sleep around, or boast, as some men are prone to do, about the night before, are still called sluts. Interestingly, there is no word equivalent to slut for men. It’s almost as if we have to give women permission to get down and dirty, and so we invented romance.
But I agree with Koraly that when we write sex we should write it in context. Sometimes sex is romantic but sometimes it’s wild, funny, moving, drunken, tender and selfish. It’s greedy, and thoughtless and cruel and inhibited, and it has smells and sounds and tastes. One thing sex is not, is Hollywood.
If Katie Copstick is right that women over-romanticise sex in literature, then it’s probably more to do with socialisation than oestrogen. Copstick should be reassured, however, that a new generation of women are meeting her challenge and writing sex a whole lot differently to their mothers.